This time last year I was in the midst one of the most challenging times of my life, by far.
I was cleaning up a huge business mess after my former partners turned out not to be the women I thought they were. My daughter was deep in the midst of the hardest part of her teenage years, by far. And, I was beginning to recognize that the man I had hired as CEO of my lawyer training company wasn’t a strong long-term fit and I’d likely have to step back in as CEO, which I have since done.
Facebook sent me this memory, which reminded me of all of it and how much things can shift in one year.
This year, I’m back in Costa Rica, CEO of both companies, and my relationship with Kaia has completely transformed.
While in Costa Rica for Envision last year (with my then boyfriend Michael, my videographer Robert and Kaia) I made a last minute decision to send Kaia back without us and to stay on for an additional week and go to the Roots Gathering in Punta Mona.
If I had really known what was going on with her at the time, I would not have sent her back. But I didn’t. I thought we were on an upswing in our relationship, and we were. What I didn’t know is that it would have to get worse, much worse, before it got even better.
That’s often the case, and if you are in the midst of a tough time, I encourage you to know and understand that. Just keep showing up, moving forward, and taking care of yourself.
“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
I just read the book The Surrender Experiment and it once again reminded me of this truth. If you haven’t read it, it’s a game-changer. Check it out.
So, what does all this have to do with Water + Earth, Integrity and Authenticity?
Well, here I am back in Costa Rica again. This time, as I mentioned in the Love Letter I sent last week, I sent back the guys who traveled with us this year (my new guy friend, Kaia’s boyfriend, and my son) and Kaia and I stayed on for retreat.
Yesterday, in the retreat, we explored the elements of Water and Earth.
Here’s what I noticed that may be relevant to you and your life and your business.
First of all, so often my mind doesn’t want to do the things, but once I do them, my other parts (body, heart and soul) are so happy I did it!
For example, we started the day at the ocean with bodypaints. My mind was judgmental. Didn’t want to get painted. Didn’t want to go in the water and get my hair wet.
Didn’t want to, didn’t want to, didn’t want to.
But I did it anyway (a huge teaching of the surrender experiment, by the way) and my body, heart and soul were thrilled!
A reminder to not listen so much to my mind, as she is often running old programming that doesn’t truly serve. She’s great at solving problems, not so great at running my life.
What that means is it’s my job to give her the right problems to solve and not listen to the stories she spins thinking she’s solving problems that often don’t even exist.
It’s easier said than done, for sure. But the more I practice, the better I get.
Can you relate?
It’s the reason I created the Money Map program. My mind needs me to give her the right questions to ask. For so long, the only question I asked and the main problem my mind focused on was “do I have enough money?” and “how can I get more?”
The wrong questions to ask. My mind would spin for hours upon hours seeking the answers.
I created the Money Map so money would no longer be the compass of my life, and instead become the fuel for my creative dreams. It worked.
Today, my mind no longer spins on money. Not because I have millions in the bank, but because I know where my money is coming from, how I’m using what I have, and because I’ve given my mind the right questions to ask. That’s the power of the Money Map.
Today, I’m able to be in integrity around money and my work in the world, the use of my time, energy and attention, in ways I simply couldn’t before.
I couldn’t be in integrity around any of that before the Money Map because I didn’t actually know what I needed, so I was always focused on getting more. And sacrificing time, energy, attention and even relationships for it.
I thought I needed millions in the bank to be free.
I thought I had to put money first to be responsible.
I thought the ability to earn money was the most important skill to learn.
I did a lot of thinking back then. My mind constantly spinning, worrying, questioning.
Now, I get to put play at the top of my list and spin poi, instead of my mind. This picture from Envision captures my very first time spinning lighted poi and I hope to do a lot more of it. It’s way more fun than the mind spin.
What does your mind spin on? Where does worry about money fit into the equation? Are you ready to shift from the question of whether you have enough to clarity around how to use the resources you do have to create the life you really want?
I’m curious about you and where you are on this journey. Send me a note at email@example.com, I read all the responses I get. Knowing you better fuels what I share here; it is the best way to support you in building your life and income awake, aware and on your terms.
PS — I have a cool gift for you. My friend Joanna Lindenbaum asked 25 women to contribute their personal rituals for life and business to this guidebook and she’s giving it to you free. My ritual is something you can use each time you send an important email and I know it will help you have more of the outcomes you desire. You can get the whole guidebook here.