Archives for September 2013

Women’s Gifting Circles Part II: The Opportunity for the Community

Quite a lot of the writing and commentary around the women's gifting circles assumes that the women participating in the circles are victims, at risk of being hurt or taken advantage of because of our “inferior ability” around business and financial decisions.  While it might be that no one is coming out and saying this quite as directly as I have here, it is the subtext.

If only women had all the information and could look at the numbers, no woman would knowingly join a gifting circle, is the way the conversation seems to go. Or, this must be stopped because women are being hurt by participating in these gifting circles. Or they will be hurt because they can't make informed, empowered decisions.

So, for the record … we are not victims.

No woman is a victim to the phenomena of Gifting Circles.

If a woman is, in fact, hurt by her experience, she has a great opportunity to take responsibility for and learn from that experience.

I would LOVE to see all of those who claim women are being hurt by participating in gifting circles support women to mine the gold of their experiences.

If a woman loses trust for her sister or community, she can choose to believe she was victimized OR she can choose to inquire into her loss of trust, how it came about and how she created the circumstances for it to happen the way it did.

The woman who loses trust can choose to look at where the breach of trust took place, to surface that, bring it into the light and love it all the way open.

The woman who feels ripped off, bamboozled, misled or sold a bill of goods can look at the consciousness inside of herself that led to that impact and use the experience to learn more about herself, about her decision-making process, and about her relationship with money and business.

From that perspective, there can be no true loss.

Gifting Circles do not need to polarize our community, yet some have taken a stance of polarization and opposition. This is not the path to peace, it doesn't make the world a better place and if this is the stance you have taken, I urge you to consider another way.

Let's look at how these circles and the clear need for sisterhood, financial pathways and guidance are being met (or not being met by the structure of gifting circles) so we can come together to see the opportunity to create something that does work.

I'm so appreciative of each and every woman who has reached out to me for support with her experience in a gifting circle after reading my original article on the women's gifting circles.  I've watched these women take full responsibility for their personal experience, learn from it and grow.

Women: you are not victims.  If you joined a circle and now regret it, learn from it. If you joined a circle, completed it and feel guilt, work with that guild and find a way to give back. If you are in a circle and want to stay in without guilt, shame or fear, do it.  Discover the promise that led you there in the first place and then create it for others.

If you are in judgment about the circles, I invite you to share in the comments about your ideas for what we can learn about what women desire and how we can create the support structures to provide it. If you are in support of the circles, I invite you to speak out about that support and why you support them so we can take what is working and build on it to make it even better.  I'm excited to see what we can create when we move beyond polarization and into co-creative collaboration.

Success! From logical, left-brain lawyer to embodied, creative dancer.

A few years ago when I began to realize that so much of the traditional success I was experiencing — bestselling book, lots of TV, million dollar businesses — felt empty, I set a new vision of success for myself.


I would know true success when I could fully inhabit my body, my heart and my soul. I would know this success when I felt truly alive.  Success would be mine when I could truly embody all parts of me, especially those that had been disowned for so long. 

This past week at Burning Man, I experienced my personal version of true success. 

Here’s a picture of me just moments before I took the stage for a dance performance as one of the 7 Enlivening Sins. 
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90 seconds on stage, fully embodied, dancing my heart and soul.  Afterward, a man who ran my company for several months during the depth of my transformation came up to me and said “Lex, that was amazing. During your performance, I asked who that was dancing and it was you! I didn’t even recognize you.” 

Success!  I did it.  I owned all parts of myself, let her shine fully, embodied the Priestess, Warrioress, Goddess that I am and DANCED. On stage. 

A dream come true.  The first of many performances, I intend. Amazing. 

Stacey Morgenstern (of Holistic MBA) emcee’d, Sonya Stewart, Jenna LaFlamme, Jennifer Russell, Alia, Jess Johnson, and Mia Cara were the other 6 Enlivening Sins and we shifted the 7 deadly sins from Greed to Satisfaction, Pride into Self Esteem, Wrath into Power, Sloth into Rest, Lust to Desire, Gluttony to Abundance, and my part — Envy into Appreciation.
What an absolute joy!  Perhaps if there is enough demand, I can get you a copy of video of the performance itself. Let's hear how much you want it in the comments and I'll see what I can do.

What is your true definition of success and how will you know when you are living it?

How to Go from One-to-One to One-to-Many and Even More – In 4 (Simple But Not Easy) Steps

577414_435978136484794_772848149_nFinancial liberation is knowing you can always earn exactly what you need, when you need it, on demand.

Offering your services one-to-one in exchange for dollars based on hours you performed your service is the natural first step many take to that end.

And, as quickly as you possibly can you will want to move through that stage to the next level.

Trading dollars for hours is okay, but it's limited.  If you've been doing it, you know what I mean.

If you haven't started a business yet, you may have heard that it's the way to start or perhaps you've decided to skip that step.

Don't skip it. But don't get stuck there either.

It's a necessary step along the path to financial liberation because it teaches you so much about your audience, how you serve them, how much time it takes to get to the desired outcome you provide, the benefits of working with you and will build your confidence.

But you will quickly realize it's not sustainable.

You only have so many hours in the day and your greatest limitation isn't money, knowledge, clients or any of the other excuses we often make up to keep us small, it's your time.   Your time is your most valuable resource.  Especially if you want to impact a lot of people.

So, once you've mastered serving people on a one to one basis, it's time to make the leap up to the next level.

The next incremental step on your path from one to one to one to many is to keep serving one to one and shift from being paid hourly to creating packages that offer your services.  The value of what you will charge for these packages is based on the outcome your clients can expect, NOT for the amount of time you spend with them. (To learn exactly how to structure your packages, start your Money Map to Freedom Program here.)

Two things about that:

1) I see many folks who try to skip the one to one altogether and go right to creating group programs and products. I think this is a mistake.  You simply do not know enough about your marketplace or what you offer. Generally speaking, you need the one to one in order to develop your expertise.

2) Going from one to one hourly directly to group programs or products (and skipping the creation of packages) is also a mistake because it's the package creation process that helps you clarify the outcomes you provide, the benefits of those outcomes, and the value people gain and will pay for what you offer.

Once you've created packages to offer your one to one service, then you can move on to the holy grail of one to many service.

The best way to start is to begin serving your clients in groups. Deliver the same outcomes you delivered in the one-on-one packages but now in a group setting.

After working with your clients in groups, you’re finally ready to start creating products that can be accessible to more than just your group clients and more than just your one-on-one clients… these products/services can be accessible to any and every one at anytime without your presence.  This is where you will start to realize the joy of “passive income” and making money while you sleep. (Note: passive income from information products is not really passive, but I'll have to save that discussion for another time.)

So here are the 4 steps to financial liberation by offering your services:

1. Serving your clients one to one on an hourly basis;

2. Serving your clients one to one with flat fees based on packages;

3. Serving your clients in groups with flat fees based on packages;

4. Serving your clients through products that can be purchased, used and implemented without direct contact with you.

Seeing these steps listed out like they are here makes it sound pretty easy. The truth is, the journey from one-on-one hourly to serving many clients through products that sell while you sleep is one that takes dedication, persistence and most of all support.

Connect with us in our private Facebook group and tune into our bi-weekly Coaching Calls and Accountability and Implementation Calls to get the support you need.