Archives for March 2014

Being a Pioneer of Love

amber4I am an intrepid Pioneer of Love…

Passionately devoted to peeling back the moment in order to discover the deeper untold beauty that lies beneath the surface layers of interaction.  Incessantly curious, my endless explorations into the vast and uncharted terrain of what it is to fully embody as love on this planet have revealed again and again that our core essence is inherently ecstatic  boundless, graceful, innocent and totally turned on by life!

Nothing unleashes more pleasure in me than coming into full contact with the moment and finding out how much more love can be coaxed from every encounter, be it a sparkling interaction with the grocery store cashier or a intimate deep dive with a beloved. The pleasure comes from embodying and generously sharing what we all crave at the core – to be seen, touched and loved for who we really are beneath the skins of our identities, to have our essence recognized and invited out to play.

Rumi so succinctly hit the bulls eye when he said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

More than once I’ve heard the assumptive remark, “Yeah, its easy for you to say, you were born this way! It’s just who you are.” Yes, this is true. In fact, it’s true for every one of us. It is who we are. We emerge into this realm whole and complete, fully intact as our essence incarnated into a fresh body. And so it is we remain. What follows then is the gradual process of developing veneers around our wholeness as we adopt the cultural conditioning that in-forms us otherwise, inhibiting our capacity to fully inhabit our most natural state of being.

amber2So, although I was indeed born this way, like most I arrived into an environment that did not support me in remaining connected to the truth of who I am, and so for the most part I forgot, adapting as best I could to survive the years of pain and distortion, somehow managing to retain a remembrance of the source spark still glowing within my inexhaustibly brilliant heart.

It was my inextinguishable beacon, constantly guiding me home to the nourishing sanctuary of essence. No matter what storms raged around me, I had the undeniable sense of their impermanence and that I would somehow make it through and always be loved from the inside out.

We Are fundamentally wired to BE and SHARE love, yet many have forgotten how to access the core of who we are underneath these accumulated veneers, bumping up against and interacting from their defined edges of convincingly ingrained patterns and generations of time-tested, culturally approved restraint. We’ve been collectively domesticated, our wild and free essential natures broken in order to comply with the way of the herd. Yet still, regardless of what ego identities we may have cloaked our essence with along the journey, it remains eternally unmarred and intact at the core, awaiting our arrival.

amber3So how do we get IN here, when the ego’s defense structures stand hyper vigilant on guard, resolute in their mission to divert any attempt to penetrate through to the core, utilizing every possible mode of distraction available to keep our attention focused on the perimeter?

It’s actually the strategies rooted in simplicity that are most effective in disarming the defenses – the most fundamental of all being the breath. When we feel gripped by an ingrained response, often the first indicator is constricted breath. By simply staying present with our breath, allowing it to enter fully and softly open the belly, releasing it completely while relaxing in and spreading open from the inside out, any resistance can be dissolved through, outdated structures unraveled and distortions resolved back into wholeness.

The breath will always guide us back into alignment with life, back into the primal core of who we are – where all solutions are found, and we come into full contact with what’s here, now.

Deliberately choosing to be embodied, to intimately know one's self through the body, enables a ground to deeply feel from. Only from here can we begin to unravel the barriers that impede love’s natural flow.

We are learning to turn towards difficulties and become curious about them rather than identifying with them. With a courageous internal commitment to meet and breathe through any resistance that keeps us from fully feeling what arises in our experience, we can increase our capacity to respond to life rather than react to it.

We are empowered knowing we don't have to choose our default patterns, and as we increase the options of response we find there really is room for everything.

True ecstasy embraces the entire spectrum of what is without needing to deny any aspect of it. ~ Click to Tweet!

Awakening inside of our own experience allows us to meet any resistance we may encounter and develop a healthy relationship with it as our ally, showing us where we get to melt open even wider to unleash the love that we are. Thus, we may ecstatically embody our essential nature and live a deeply fulfilling and inspired life of purpose, pleasure and grace!

orgasmolutionJoin me and Alexis Neely live for my Orgasmolution training this Friday, March 28th to learn the very tools I used to transform painful life events into powerful experiences. Register here. 



What to Do If A Whole Community Hates What You Are Offering (Wilber & SuperHumanOS)

A few weeks ago, I got an email from a friend about a new Ken Wilber program called SuperHumanOS, and asking if I would promote it to my community.  Wilber’s work (specifically his teaching around the evolution of consciousness and how it has translated in my own waking up journey) has greatly impacted my life, so I was intrigued.

As soon as I clicked through to check it out, I knew it was a full-body yes. Ken Wilber made it understandable and accessible. Yes, we need more of that for sure. Check it out yourself.  Here's my affiliate link to the free webinar with Ken teaching the SuperHumanOS this week.

I knew as soon as I saw it that many  people of the “Integral Community” (in this case defined as people who have studied the teachings of Ken Wilber's Integral Theory) would be outraged about the promotion of this event.

This is not your old-style Ken Wilber.  Thick with symbology, dense, and nearly impossible for anyone but those with the highest of IQs to access.

The SuperHumanOS leverages the best minds in internet marketing to put a simplified face (and pretty colors) on concepts that have been (up until now) extremely complex and only available to those with loads of time to study.superhuman

When I posted my excitement about the webinar and a link to it in the Integral Universe Facebook group there was outrage. Many who have followed Wilber for some time seem to believe Wilber has “jumped the shark” with promotional material for his free webinar full of what they say are questionable claims, easy results and otherwise misleading promises.

I read comment after comment by members of the Integral Community hating on the SuperHumanOS.

Personally, I don't get it.  If we are going to create a tipping point of consciousness from Tier  1 to Tier 2, we are going to need to move the masses.

Fortunately, a few famous Integralists, such as Shawn Phillips and Brett Thomas, brought some integral consciousness to the party.

Shawn, author of the book Strength for Life, said: “The only way to get people moving who aren't is to offer what they want and give them what they need.  More good done with the impact than all the elitist perfectionists criticizing or waiting for others to find the way.  Get movement .. Get cash flow… Reach more powerfully … Win win.”

Brett Thomas, a 20-year veteran in the world of human performance and organizational development and author of the 52-week Integral Leadership program, brought some more understanding to the topic when he said:

“Guys, this is called Online Marketing also called Content Marketing. Comparing marketing to MLM is a display of ignorance. Also, suggesting that its nothing but a sales pitch is equally ignorant. This style of marketing is not only a great way to give a lot of value content a way for free, funded by the small % of people who want to buy a more comprehensive course, it is one of the best strategies in existence to find movements such as ours rich with ideas and solutions. Having a ‘green’ allergic reaction to marketing because you haven't integrated your ‘orange’ embarrasses yourselves and the rest of us who are your integral peers. Many smart people have tried to fund this next wave (integral wave) and kens work. Few have had a lot of success. Bravo to bold, creative talented team bringing this product out to the masses. It's a brilliant strategy and its also ethical and integral. It may not be perfect but it sucks to have people not doing anything criticizing the pioneers who are doing something positive.”

Besides these two voices of reason and a few others, within the integral practitioner community, it’s been a whole lot of complaints, criticism and hating.

Personally, I don't get it because Ken's teaching of integral or “teal” consciousness is that to make the leap in consciousness that will save our world we must transcend and include our prior conditioning, which would mean the “orange” level of consciousness, which includes an understanding of marketing and making money is welcome.

And, it's clearly working.  David Hassell, founder of a transformational software platform for ensuring employees feel heard called 15Five said “I've had Ken on my reading list for years, but could never get around to it. I'm signed up for the webinar.”

David Hassell is just the kind of guy we all want becoming more aware of Ken's teachings because he’ll take the concepts and make them manifest in the world.

So, what would you do if a whole community was hating on you?

Would you retract? Pull back? Shrink? Or would you see it for what it is? The evidence that you are making real impact in the world?

I hope the latter. And it's exactly what Ryan Parks and his partner, Todd Jason, the co-founders of Sacred Media (the company who has created the SuperHumanOS campaign) have done.

You can read a statement by Ryan Parks here.

Ryan and Todd have applied their understanding of Integral consciousness to stay open, focused, and allowing.  When the complaints began rolling in, of course they were tempted to react in anger, hurt and fear, lashing back out at the crowd. But they didn't.  They relaxed into the reaction, kept moving forward, and transcended and included the hurt.

These are the leaders I want bringing more of Wilber's work in the world.

To check out the webinar yourself (it's free and will support you to fully live into your greatest potential), register here. I'd really like you to join in. The world needs all of you now.  Even (especially!) the parts that will be hated.

The Gift in What’s Hard in Life and Business

Dearest One,

I  wanted to take a moment to reach out and offer you the support, love and guidance I have so often wished someone would offer to me in a time of struggle. I am here to support you in making the leap and saying ‘yes' to what you want, even though it's really, really, really scary and hard sometime. And, requires so much letting go. Letting go of things that are no longer in alignment, but have been so comfortable for so long.

Finding the Gift in Whats Hard Eyes Wide Open Alexis Neely

That tension you are feeling, that stress, that uncertainty, that feeling of “ohhhhh no, i can't do it, i can't, i can't, i can't” is resistance. It's going to pass, just breathe through it. Just like as if you were on a roller coaster and as the roller coaster is going higher and higher and higher and higher, it gets scarier, and scarier and scarier and scarier.

My mind gets louder, and louder and louder and louder.  Until the crest when I think I'm gonna die. No, I'm sure I'm going to. That's it, it's all over, we're done for. And then swoosh, we're down in a second and on the flats and screaming with excitement joy.

Keep going, you are almost there.

I share this because I'm just like you.  Maybe I've been doing it a bit longer, maybe I have more experience under my belt, but honestly, it doesn't make it any different. The roller coaster exists, you are on it, I am on it, we are riding.

You see, the number of projects I'm working on right now is boggling my mind. And they are all so damn good that my heart is soaring while my mind is being boggled. It's a pretty intense feeling. I'm sure you're probably right there with me.

That's why I feel this letter is so timely for this community.

We are all going through intense growth and big shifts. And, in the past, when I got to the top of the roller coaster, I bailed.  I couldn't keep going over the voices over my head and I pulled back.  I gave up.

And while that was the perfect thing for my evolution, I wish I had someone who would have said to me — you are so close. Keep going. You can do it. The crest is just over that hill and then you'll be on the flats, screaming with joy.

Let me be that for you now.

Every single scary thing happening in your life and in your business is happening FOR you.  It's all a gift.  You are in the process of being taught how to BE the person you want to be, how to HAVE the life you want to have, and to be able to say yes to all of it.

Saying yes to all of it can be overwhelming and scary.  But it's all leading you to what you really want.

And, if you can keep seeing that every single thing that is happening is happening FOR you, to accelerate your own evolution, we can all enjoy the process together. Sinking into hopelessness and getting stuck there doesn't lead to happiness, it doesn't lead to the life you want. (You know I'm writing this for myself too, right?)

The whole truth is this –  success comes to those who persist. Period. Keep going. I'm with you. We all are. It's all happening.

Share with us in the comments below where you are afraid it's not all happening and we can show you where you are stuck. We are all here with you – to support you and provide our collective wisdom to your journey.

Meet Eyes Wide Open Business Priestess: Sweigh Spilkin

sweighI’ve always been an inside-out kind of person. More interested in the “why” behind what I do then in the “how.”

As a healer, mentor, and guide for other healers, my true training ground has been my inner journey through illness and back into wholeness. My work in the world is the way in which I express my soul. I regularly use strange words like “psychopomp” and “initiation” and “soul medicine.”  I’m sure there’s a Youtube video about people like me. I have altars everywhere, and feathers, and bones, and wings on my walls, and each one tells a story. I’ve spent years cultivating the inner realms and I’m at home there.

But the thing is, without the “how,” the “why” doesn't really matter.

Without the skills, business support, and tools to bring inner medicine out and into the world, then none of my gifts get to reach those that need it most.

That’s where the Business Priestess Mistressmind came in.

By the time I had my first conversation with Ali, I had enough of the “why” under my belt. But if I was going to make the big impact on the world that I longed to, I needed to focus on the “how.”

When I joined the Business Priestess Mistressmind my business looked good from the outside—I had a booming private practice as a somatic psychotherapist and healer, hosted a radio show, and offered trainings for other healers—but I felt squeezed. None of it was really sustainable. I was spending way too much time on ineffective marketing with little return. And way too many direct hours with clients leaving me with little time to do what I loved—write and create content (not to mention hike on the land, meditate, and play!). It was time for me to transition my practice, to take on fewer clients, offer larger programs, and bring my business to the next level.

But I didn't know how to get there. And more importantly, I was terrified that I couldn’t get there without selling my soul.

I was hesitant before I jumped into the Business Priestess Mistressmind. I love Ali, had known her for years, but Ali’s way of doing business felt different than mine. My biggest concern was that to “play bigger” in my business I would have to loose myself or become someone that I’m not. And that wasn’t something I was willing to do. I needed to know that I could stay authentic and connected to what was important to me as I grew.

Day 1 of the Misstressmind I received a “direct download” from my intuition, a full map of how to offer my Great Work in the world. This is the power of stepping into an “up-leveling” container. When we say ‘yes', what we need appears, often in unexpected ways. I spent the next six months beginning to implement what I received.

Through the course of the Mistressmind I was able to launch my first online program, a highly successful, 30-day meditation program called, Opening to the Divine. I also made $20,000 in new revenue, learned a ton, developed the confidence I needed to take my business to the next level, and, most importantly, did it all in a way that felt authentic to who I am. For the most part, my launch matched the ease, grace, and trust that I was teaching about in my program.

I’ve known for a while what’s mine to do—help healers move from their wounds all the way through to offering their Soul Medicine in to the world. And although I’ve had the inner skills and capacities to do it, I hadn’t developed the high-level business knowledge that I needed to take my business into the world.

Now I have both.

Along with a map for the next few years of my business, my first summit planned, a book project in the works, programs gearing up to launch, and the support and confidence to bring my gifts all the way through. And, on top of it all, I know that I can use what I learned in the Business Priestess Mistressmind to help other healers to grow their businesses while staying true to their souls. This makes me happy. I can’t recommend the Eyes Wide Open team enough.

Sweigh Emily Spilkin
Healer for Healers + Soul Medicine Guide

Watch the Replay of Our Business Priestess Mistressmind Google Hangout: “Embracing Your “AND:” How To Be The Juicy On-Fire Priestess AND the Kick Ass Get-It-Done Leader.”


Stop the Overwhelm: How to Face the Challenges of Time and Task Management

We've all been faced with the challenge of task and time management: struggling with how to fit everything in and get everything done, feeling like there aren't enough hours in the day, and stuck in a continual state of go-go-go. I'm sure you know the feeling.

So how do we relate to the never ending demands on your time WITHOUT coming from a place of obligation and push? How do we STOP The Overwhelm and come from a place of ease, flow and spontaneous presence?SONY DSC

Anne Perry, Kiva Leatherman and I recently had a juicy conversation about this and how we've each overcome our challenges with time and task management.

Watch the Hangout here.

Here are some creative solutions we use to help face the challenges of time and task management:

  • Come to terms with the fact that not everything will get done.
  • Find ways to experience the essence of your ideal lifestyle every day.
  • Create a container of time for each task that needs to get done.
  • If you're not inspired, don't do it.
  • And trust yourself with the responsibility of managing your time.

Come to terms with the fact that not everything will get done.
If given the chance, we can all come up with an endless list of things we feel need to be done. The key is accept that not all if will ever get done and to shift into an intentional relationship with time.

Know that if you get off the crazy train of do, do, do – go, go, go you'll be fine. You will discover a well of creativity and productivity you didn't even know you had access to.

“You can't move forward by just continually doing.” Anne Perry

Find ways to experience the essence of your ideal lifestyle every day.
If you're pushing, pushing, pushing to work through your task list to create your ideal lifestyle “some day”… stop. That kind of chase will leave you feeling forced and trapped. But when you find small ways to incorporate pieces of your ideal lifestyle into your everyday routine you will step into an authentic and inspired state of doing.

Take a page out of Anne's book: BEFORE she pops open her laptop and jumps into work, she starts the day off with a green juice, a time slot set aside to just be, and a peaceful walk. It doesn't have to be elaborate. Just love on yourself a bit, whatever that looks like for you.

Create a container of time for each task that needs to get done.
A task will fill the time we allocate to it. If you jump into a task without any structure, it could take 4 hours.Give that task a container of time and that same task could take you 20 minutes. You are the master of your time – you can slow it down, you can speed it up. Play creatively with how time can work with you and be your friend instead of working against it.

timeIf you're not inspired, don't do it.
Only act when it's from a place of inspiration. No more white-knuckling and grinding through a task just because. And it's funny, when you hold off on the things that don't light you up, they seem to dissipate and go away. Viola!

And there will be those times when nothing seems to come from that inspired place. When that happens, take a bath, a walk – do something. When you take time for yourself, the inspiration will come.

“When you'e always pushing and driving forward there's no room for the magic to come in.” Amrita Khalsa

And trust yourself with the responsibility of managing your time.
Maybe in your past you've been irresponsible with managing your time and tasks; maybe you've responded based on your desires, which is not the same as responding based on inspiration. Your desire might be to stare mindlessly at your tv all day. While your inspiration may not always be the fun thing to do, it's authentic and it's what life is calling you to focus on.

Trust yourself to listen to that inspiration no matter how crazy or insane it may seem to anyone else. to listen to your inspiration no matter what others may think or feel about it.

Watch the recording of our hangout below for more on how the Eyes Wide Open Collective responds the the overwhelm. 

And please LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW and tell us all the things that are coming up for you around this topic: What are your struggles, your breakthroughs?