Archives for December 2014

I'm writing to you from Santa Cruz, where I am on the first leg of a whirlwind tour of California.

It starts here at Jesse Koren and Sharla Jacobs' JV Retreat for the Conscious Business Leader community. Then, out to the Santa Cruz mountains for a top secret meeting about a community/land development project I am involved in and down to San Diego for a night of ceremony with the elders and then up to Ojai to meet with an artist I am supporting to build out the next level of his already successful online business.

In the meantime, we are planning for the big roll out of the complete Money Map Life Planning process, which begins with a training on 12/19. You're invited! Sign up here to get the details first.

Now, before I get off track … I have something very important to talk with you about:

This week, I got a request from a reader asking for more business advice and less “love woes and breakups … feuding with your partners … bankruptcies … lawsuits … and loud gulps of water on your webinars.”

She went on to say “I just wonder how many of these types of off-topic emails I'm going to have to go through until there's something of value that relates to modern marketing, business, etc. Perhaps I’m the one who’s off topic.”

So let me start by saying, Thank You. I so appreciate clear requests. I take them in, keep what's true and, as Nicole Daedone (founder of OneTaste) says, poop out the rest.

What I took from your request is that I can write more specifically and directly about business and that would serve the audience. Received, heard and happening, starting today, now, here.

Aaaaannnndddd, dear reader, I think you are missing something very, very, very, very important.

Eyes Wide Open is all about building your life and business awake, aware and on your terms. It's not about how to market better. It's not even about how to make more money. It's about how you can show up most fully as the person you truly want to be in the world, in every relationship you are in — business, self, life, love, etc.

So if it's straight up marketing advice you are looking for, you are off topic. Though before you go, I would recommend you take this marketing advice very seriously:

BE ALL OF WHO YOU ARE AS FULLY AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN IN EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR BUSINESS, INCLUDING YOUR MARKETING.  {Tweet It!}

By doing so, you will attract to you exactly who you are meant to work with, from clients, to vendors, to team members, to prospects.  If you don't like who you are attracting, see it as the perfect reflection of how you are showing up and before you change any marketing, change yourself.

If you can't figure out how to bring all of who you are, look at where you are hiding the parts of yourself that you judge as “not good” or “ugly” or “bad”. Yep, bring more of that.

I write about my love life, breakups with business partners, lawsuits and bankruptcies because it is in the heart of those relationships and events that we can learn the most about ourselves and how to be in business. So perhaps go back and read what I wrote and look for the business lessons.

In fact, let's have a contest. I'm going to reward the full Money Map Life Planning process to someone who can go back and mine my past blogs and love letter posts and share with me the three best business lessons they gleaned from my writings. This is a $4,000 program. But anyone can win it and learn a lot in the process. Read here.

While you are doing that, I'll share the business advice I am most learning myself right now.

This first came into my awareness a couple of times this week, once with a new love interest and then when I got to speak with Liz Dialto as she interviewed me for her Entheos series coming out this Spring (I'll send you an invite).

It's this.

Bring your full “bitch” early on in each relationship. Whatever she looks like, the part that's gonna come out later on anyway, bring her out early. Let your partner (business, love, life, whatever) see her early on so you can see how your partner is with that part of you.  If your partner doesn't handle that “ugly” part of you well, even when he or she is resourced, it's simply not a relationship match, move on.

If you aren't down with bringing your full bitch, how about even just a little bit of upset? How about you even just stand up for yourself, or say that thing that you are biting your tongue about, or that you vented to your husband so you wouldn't vomit it all over your business partner.

Bring it. Negotiate that agreement. Ask for what you want. Say what's not working.

If the person you communicate to doesn't respond in a way that feels in full energetic alignment for you, see it for what it is — not a match. Better to see it early on and make space for what truly is a match.

If you do not like how you are handled when you bring your full bitch, or your upset or your push back, walk away, fast. If you do not like yourself when you bring your full bitch, consider how you can uplevel without turning “her” (your bitch) off.

I have rarely followed this advice. I have turned her off, squelched her down, told her to “be nice” and worked my ass off to make relationships work that I could have and should have walked away from far, far, far earlier. Because I convinced myself, if I can just be better, if I can just contort myself this way or that, if I could just show up different, or if he could just, or if she could just… Stop it. Walk away. If the relationship truly is meant to be, it will be. You will reconnect when the energy is aligned. And, no need to stick in there and suffer in the meantime.

Right relationship is not without challenge, but the challenge isn't in the other one, it's in you.

And that's one relationship you cannot and never will walk away from. So your #1 metric for whether to be in relationship with anyone – vendor, team member, client, business partner, friend, lover, spouse — is: how do they handle your upset? And, you cannot know that if you don't bring it early on in the relationship.

The best way to do this is to bring your bitch (please note: bitch is used to represent the way you push back, share your upset or anyway that you stop being little miss nice girl) during the initial agreement-ing process.

I've often said something that may sound funny coming from a lawyer, but the most important part of agreements ISN'T the paper itself, or even the words on the paper, it's the process engaged in to get to the terms. It's about how you and the other shows up in that process.

Now, that doesn't mean holding in your negotiator and not asking for what you want. Quite the opposite, it means owning your desires and your boundaries clearly, and in a way that they can be heard and received. If your desires and boundaries are not heard and received in a way that feels good to you (this doesn't mean that you will get exactly what you want, but that you will be heard) walk away.  Better to know early.

And, if you find that you are losing relationships you really wanted to maintain and kicking yourself, then look within to discover where you are not bringing your bitch a way that is healthy or constructive and repair it. If you are bringing your healthy, constructive bitch, the right relationships will just deepen and the relationships that are not a match will fall away.

Namaste' M*therf*cker.  😉 {Tweet It!}

I’ve got love on the brain and in my heart this week. In the midst of all the transition with Kiva and Amrita leaving and as I go about the business of removing their images from our banners, I notice my heart wanting to close, my mind wanting to judge and to create stories.

My biggest job at this moment is to keep my heart open and to remain in my own personal inquiry of What is love, really? And then, be that.

Each time I do, I find myself deeper and more in love with what’s true.

Your biggest job at this moment is to keep your heart open and keep asking “what is love, really?” {Tweet It!}

While separating is hard to do, I am discovering a deeper connection to my work and to the team supporting this work than I have had in more than three years. I am so infinitely grateful for this.

Yesterday, after Kiva sent me a hard to read email (Kiva, if you are reading this, a response is coming as soon as I get a few minutes to breathe!), I was ignited to recognize where I have not been standing fully in my power around the work of the Money Map.

Thank you, Kiva, for saying what may have been hard to say. It was a catalyst as hard words so often are.

Be a catalyst for true change. Be willing to say what’s hard to say. Support more Truth and Awakening in our world. {Tweet It!}

The truth is that the Money Map is not just an information product or online program, it’s a full on life planning process and tool that needs to be in the hands of every adult who desires right relationship with time, money and how they earn their income in the world.

As a result, I am innovating a new program to get you access to the Money Map life planning process at exactly the right investment for you — whether it’s $5 or $500,000, so that you are guided to stretch and, as a result, can grow into the next evolution of you — wherever you are now. Keep your eyes here for more on that.

I notice I keep wanting to tell you that I am falling in love. Falling in love with this work, this team, and, yes, even with a man. But, the truth is, I’m not falling at all. You can read more about that here.

There is no need to fall when it comes to love. {Tweet It!}

Big Love Beyond the Beyond,

This week, life handed me a scenario that appeared to be a big ole’ basket of lemons and after puckering my mouth, resisting the tart and, yes, crying a bit, I relaxed and realized I’ve got the makings of the best tasting glass of ice-cold lemonade on a sweltering hot summer day.

I hope that today’s letter inspires you to do the same.

Next time you want to resist what life hands you, look for the blessing and the gift. Life truly is looking out for you. {Tweet It!}

Last Wednesday, Amrita and Kiva broke the news to me that they are launching out on their own three weeks from now, as opposed to 3 months from now.

Right before our next big campaign for the Money Map, phase 2, beginning December 19.

After the surprise moved through my system and I cried for ten minutes, I began to relax into the Truth.

This is the right thing.  It’s right for them.  It’s what life wants.  It’s right for me.  It’s right for the work.

It’s the kick in the ass I need to stop hiding behind the Collective and rebuild the integrated “Ali Alexis” brand and truly, deeply reconnect to my work.

I’ve been hiding.

Being part of a Collective kept me from fully owning all of who I am and what I’m up to in the world. It kept me safe. And, it was holding Amrita and Kiva back too.

So after I processed through the shock and tears, I took stock of what I actually have and while I am going to have a much busier December than I planned for, I am already seeing and experiencing the benefits.

Here are some examples:

We were scheduled to do a manifestation workshop for the early buyers of our Money Map course and it kept getting rescheduled and rescheduled and rescheduled again. It just wasn’t coming together. We had it scheduled for Friday and there still wasn’t a clear plan for it.

And now, I understand why. It was not meant for the three of us to do together. It was meant for me to do. And just in the last night, the manifestation workshop has come together beautifully. It’s my work to do. Grateful. Excited. [If you were an early buyer of the Money Map, you should have an email in your inbox with details and another one tomorrow.]

There were other ways I stayed out of the game as well.

I wasn’t reaching out to JV partners even though my network and connections are one of my most valuable assets. That way I didn’t have to face rejection, one of my personal biggest fears.

{By the way, if you want to share the Money Map with your audience, please email support@eyeswideopenlife.com and let me know so we can get you information.}

I wasn’t truly connected to my business financials, my launch and launch content, my Facebook ads, my Facebook fan page and instead deferring to the Collective.

Somehow that felt safe, but it wasn’t really.

I invite you to look at where you are hiding, and how you are playing safe. Hint: look for the disconnect or feeling of “dead”. {Tweet It!}

Today, I am 100% connected. Excited. And a little bit scared (in just the very best way possible). It’s the exact perfect space for maximum creative expression.

And fortunately, Amrita and Kiva are being great about the transition, honoring their responsibilities, ensuring the company has the funding necessary to continue, and while they are leaving sooner than I expected, I honor them for doing what’s True.

So, this is what’s alive with me this Thanksgiving.

I know I promised to write about taxes today, but this big transition seemed higher priority.

And, on the tax front …

This IS the time for you to be doing your tax planning. I just had another meeting with my tax team today and we’ve got my tax liability down from the original projected $60,000 due in April (after the $30k already paid in) down to about $13,000 due. Ah, that feels so much better.

The key? Really awesome financial management throughout the year and regular meetings with my financial managers and tax advisor. You can do this too, but if your finances are a mess, it’s probably too late for this year.

There’s still time for next year though and there may be some little things you can still do before tax time, like funding your Individual Retirement Account (IRA) and your Health Savings Account (HSA) and putting off some income that would come in December until January and pre-paying some of January’s expenses in December.

If you want a referral to my financial management and tax folks, hit reply and let me know and I'll let you know how you can learn everything I know about financial and tax systems plus get a meeting with my money people.

Big Love,