Archives for December 2015

Shifting the Paradigm in 2016

This has been a potent holiday period of awakening and realization for me.

Like many of you who have multiple interests and parts competing for attention, I tend to lose sight of what's really necessary to allow all of me to come through.

It's exactly why I created the Money Map back in 2009 when I first began to discover that the way I approached time, money and work was out of alignment.

Our current paradigm is one of work, work, work to earn as much as we think we need, then giving what's left over to family and friends and only after all that, giving time to ourselves.

Often, that leaves almost nothing for the self care and time alone that is integral to creating the lives we really want to live.

This last year has been eye-opening as I once again found myself fall into old patterns of putting money and others before my true purpose. And, discovering how much more quickly I can recognize where that happens and make a rapid shift.

You see, I'm right here on the path with you, learning, growing and evolving.

Consistently revisiting my own Money Map has shown me again how much “Money Dysmorphia” has ruled my life and kept me from bringing all of myself into the world.

Sometimes, my distorted view around money has caused me to contract and play small. Other times, it has had me throw money at problems that can only be solved with time and energy.

Today, I feel closer to the truth about time, money and work than I ever have been before. I see where our current models of business, marketing and making money are perpetuating and old myth that is ready to complete and make space for what truly serves.

You can expect to hear a lot more from me in 2016 (and in the years to come) that I've been holding in because, frankly, I was afraid.

I'm done with that.

I'm ready to speak out, stop playing the game the way it's always been played and take the arrows in the back that often come when we are pioneering something new.

It's already happening, so I may as well embrace it, right?

And I know that when my voice is louder, more people like Ginna Larson will be freed from hours in the car each day just to make it to a job that doesn't feed their souls.

Last year, Ginna went through the Money Map program and used it to re-negotiate her job that required two-hours of commuting to the office each day into a work from home position that earns her just as much money but allows her the freedom and flexibility to spend more time with her daughter, build a side business and get trained as a Money Map Master.

You can see why I am compelled to get this work into the hands of even more people.

To that end, I hope you will take a moment to listen to our New Year's Even call to get the clarity you desire for your own future so that this time next year you can be living life and earning your income in full alignment with who you are and how you want to be in the world.

Take the next few days to dive into the Money Map Life + Income Planning series. You'll receive this through your e-mail once you sign up. It's free right now and it will prepare you once you're ready to listen to the recording of our annual call as we ended 2015.

Love beyond the beyond,


PS — Money dysmorphia is something I'll be speaking and writing about a lot more in 2016. It's an affliction of the wealthy. Those who truly don't have enough know exactly what they have and what they need. It's those of us who have excess resources who tend to get confused and make poor choices around the resources we do have and what we really need. If you are ready to take one step closer to your own truth, be sure to dive into the Money Map Life and Income Planning Series and then listen to our New Year's Even Call.

The Darkest Days…

By the time you receive this love letter, it will be Winter Solstice, the longest, darkest day of the year.

I am writing you on the eve of Solstice from a place that is quickly becoming one of my favorite places on the planet, Boulder's very own Starhouse.

This land has been calling me, reminding me, helping me and guiding me to remember.

What is this remembering?

That I am always, always and in all ways loved, supported, given all I need for my next evolution. And so are you. 

I am so thrilled to see so many of you resonate with my Love Letter of last week taking a stand for no longer being motivated by fear. It is time, we are ready. Fear no longer needs to be the motivator. It has it's place, but not as a source of motivation.

We can trust something else, something far bigger and more inspiring than fear to motivate our next steps.

I can see the future and it is bright. Fear no longer controls us. “Not enough” no longer rules the day. We are pulled by (and trust) our Desires.

We welcome all that comes to support and serve that Desire — even when it appears to not be what we thought we wanted.

We are learning to know — truly know — the source of our True Wealth and the great power and responsibility that comes with it.

Your job is to look for all the places fear still motivates and notice. Retrain your brain.

Imagine the contribution you would make if you knew you had enough, if you knew you could afford it, if you knew you would be supported.

I invite you to step into that with me in the coming year.

From the darkest day comes the most beautiful light. Open your eyes and see the dawning of a new days is here now.

All you need to do is simply say yes to it and then use gifts you've been given — including every single hardship that has come your way — to make space and call in the resources that are always here for you.

With so much love this Solstice eve,


Dear Fear, I just can’t do it anymore…

I'm writing this at 2am. Inspired. Activated. Charged up. And ready for a shift.

I just got back from Mexico where I had a week with one of my favorite communities. I worked while I was there and had my daughter out for half the week, for mother/daughter bonding time.

Dreamcatcher Mexico Ali ShantiWhile we were there, I decide to invest in Kaia starting a business by buying a number of dream catchers and handmade huichol jewelry that she can sell to fund her life. I'm hopeful that this learning experience will be valuable for both of us and I intend to share the learnings with you here as we go.

So, what am I all riled up about?

I cannot continue to operate the way I have been. And, honestly, I don't know how to make the transition.  The old way has served me so well, but it's stagnated now and I'm ready to be done with it.

You'd think by now I'd be really good at transitions. If you've followed my story for any length of time, you know that I've made a lot of transitions over the years.

I left the big law firm and the 6-figure paycheck to start my own law practice. I left the law practice to build an online business. I gave it all up and moved to a farm and filed bankruptcy. I rebuilt it all again. Lots of transitions. Lots of change.

And, this one feels different. It's the one I've been longing for, the one I've been avoiding, the one that has me most at my edge.

The old way of being is the reason I created the Money Map back in 2009 — I needed a way to get into truth and out of a survival mode that was plaguing me even with a business making $2mm a year.

It's the reason I filed bankruptcy — I needed to confront my greatest fear of running out of money so I could stop being ruled by it.


And now it will be the reason I make my most radicTransform from old to newal shift yet.

I am 100% ready to release fear as a motivator in my life.

I'm not sure what will happen when I do, but I can tell you I'm not going to let the fear of not knowing stop me. I'm ready now.  I haven't been ready before. Fear has served me so well as a motivator in the past. It was responsible for my graduating first in my law school class.  It was responsible for me building multiple million dollar businesses. It was responsible for me hitting the top of many leaderboards and becoming almost famous.

You may have heard me mention before that there are a few powerful men in my life who have been supporting me to see that I no longer need fear as a motivator. And while I've been hearing their words, I wasn't really ready to let go of it. It still had a hold on me and I was giving power to it.

I'm ready to stop now. And I'm curious if you'd like to join me in living into a world beyond fear. If so, we can do it together, right here over the next several weeks.

The first step on that path, I believe, is to see all the places that fear has been a motivator and acknowledge them. I'm going to start a list and share it with you soon, or perhaps on a post on my Facebook page first. Be sure to watch for it there.

Once you are clear where fear is a motivator, you can begin to look at what your life would look like if you were truly motivated by Desire. If you want to explore that, I've shared what I really, really, really, REALLY want my life to look like here and I'd love for you to share whatever clarity you may have as well for your life. Let's speak these realities into existence together.

Because seriously, I cannot do it anymore the other way. I am ready to root out any place I've used fear to motivate myself and others. And I invite you to send me examples of where you see fear being used right now as a motivator in your own life or out in the world generally.

Let's make a shift together, okay? Let's create a new reality that is based in the true light of Love.

eliminate fear

Will you do it with me? If so let me know ( or comment on one of the Facebook posts and help me spread the word.

And the next time you have a choice to make, please ask yourself — what would I choose if I wasn't at all motivated by fear here? What if pure Desire or Life's Call was what was drawing me and not the fear of losing something?

Thank you for joining me on this mission. I feel fear in saying yes to it. And it's not the fear that's motivating me. It's simply what's happening and when I feel more deeply into it, I recognize it's not actually fear at all — it's the excitement of saying yes to something I truly Desire — a life built around the joy of being, rather than the fear of not having or being enough.

Can you feel the difference? If so, let me know, hit reply, or better yet post in one of my Facebook comments so we can spread the message of life beyond fear.

Love beyond the beyond,


I used to be so insecure and lonely, then this…

This Love Letter is a little late, but it's for good reason. Why? Because I'm in Mexico with 15 people I love and I was packing and getting ready and saying goodbye to friends in Boulder before we left instead of writing to you over the weekend. 🙂

I think it's worth the wait.  As I've been dropping in here in Mexico, it's occurred to me how far I've come to get here. And I think you might want to learn to make as big of leaps in your own life and finally step into the life you really, really, really, REALLY want — whatever that looks like for you.

We just arrived yesterday and I'm bringing my daughter out to spend the rest of the week with us on Wednesday.

I remember when I first caught the dream of this reality. It seemed SO far away.

How could I possibly create a life of travel, friends, deep connection, open-heartedeness and the financial resources to support it all?

It seemed so far out of reach.

I was a lawyer in private practice, going through a divorce, extremely lonely and while I was making good money, I didn't ever feel like I had enough.

Certainly not enough money or time to take a week of time away from my kids and work.

And when I looked online at the people connecting and having fun together, my heart longed for that too. But, I didn't know how to make it happen in my own life.

Did I mention how lonely I was?

My heart felt as if it was breaking every day when I would see other people having the kind of connection with friends and mentors that I wanted.

Today, the 15 people I am in Mexico with are people I admire, respect and love.

They are entrepreneurs and community folk doing Great Work in the world.

  • Bryan's got a game-changing book coming out in January and he's DJing the best parties in SF.
  • Eric and Stacey are working together to teach millions of men and women to support others with their health as health coaches.
  • Jennifer is developing a teaching around power that is already waking people up to how we wield our power most effectively as leaders across
  • the masculine and feminine.
  • Jena is changing women's relationships with their bodies.
  • Melani, Kim and Gregory are creating the template of a new kind of village, perhaps the beginnings of a world that works for everyone.
  • Wendy is helping women to see themselves through a new lens.
  • LiYana is about to become a published author on a topic that has never been written about publicly.
  • Nisha is changing the face of sisterhood.
  • Michael brings entrepreneurs to Peru to experience the medicine of Ayahuasca and then supports them to integrate it back into their lives and businesses afterwards.
  • Mia is guiding men and women to longevity and health beyond the surface.
  • Nathan is behind the scenes growing the business of one of the most impactful women leaders of our time.

They are parents of little one's who are being raised in community. Their kids are here with us and I'll get to bring Kaia out on Wednesday.

Bringing Kaia was not an easy decision.

We've never had a teenager on the trip before — all of their kids are under the age of 7 – and it's definitely brought up some stuff for me and the rest of the crew in how best (and whether) to integrate her.

After much consideration and discussion, they are trusting my guidance that she needs to be here. It's time for her to know my community. And, I am excited to have 4 days of downtime with Kaia here in Mexico.

You can read more about what happens at this “vacation” which is really so much more than that on my FB post here.

One of the things I appreciate most about this community is that they are always learning, growing and evolving to the next level — in business and relationships. Watching and being part of it has stretched me into the woman I am today.

Over the years (I first met this community back in 2008), there were times I couldn't hang out with this crew because I was so confronted with my own insecurities.

Gratefully though, I saw my push away for what it was and used it as an opportunity to grow the parts of myself that were terrified of having what I most wanted — deep connection with people I truly admired and the financial means to support the time, energy and travel to remain in connection.

Today, I'm able to show up fully. The insecurity is (mostly) gone. (I won't lie. I still feel it rear it's head sometimes, but now I know what to do with it).

The loneliness has vanished. I LOVE my time alone now because I am so nourished in community — both this one and my beloved Boulder community.

And, I have plenty of time and money to travel to places like this to be with these people and even bring my daughter with me.

So, how did this all happen? How did I go from lonely and insecure and not having enough money and having to work all the time into a life where I get to go on vacation with the people I admire most in the world?

I'll give you the first steps here and then I encourage you to join me onDecember 31 when I'll take you into my Money Map Life Planning Process  so you can create the exact life you want for yourself too — all of the tools are there.

Let us know you'd love to join us on December 31 for my 5th Annual New Year's Eve — create the life you really, really, really, REALLY want call.

This all began with acknowledging what I really, really, really, REALLY wanted. You see, we can never have what we want, if we don't let ourselves feel the desire, the longing and yearning for it.

Most of us shut down what we want because it can feel SO uncomfortable, out of reach or simply down right impossible.

So we turn it off. We turn ourselves off.  And then, we turn off the world around us and settle for less than the lives of our dreams.

We push it away in so many interesting and complex ways, most of which we cannot see ourselves. We simply know we are not getting the results we really want, we're struggling way too hard and bitterness and frustration begin to set in.

Before that happens to you (or if it already has), please do join me onDecember 31. It's time to shift beyond that and step into the life you really, really, really, REALLY want, whatever that looks like for you.

Alright, that's it for now. Breakfast and community is calling me. I'll be posting pictures of the trip on my Facebook profile and page.

Feel free to follow along there.

Love beyond the beyond,


Know What You Need: the next step on the path to your freedom

Desire, and knowing what you need, is a hot topic these days. Everyone wants it.  But, most of the people I talk to who are struggling in ways that feel insurmountable or who are simply stuck in a so-so situation are trapped by one common denominator — they don’t truly know what they want.

For many people, knowing what you want is one step too far away. You cannot possibly focus on what you want if you don’t yet you know you have what you need.

If you are stuck in survival mode, which means that at some level you are nearly constantly believing you are in a battle to provide enough for yourself and your family (even if you have a high income or a big retirement account), the question of what you want is likely nearly completely shrouded by your perceived need to survive.

Your wants are hidden behind the things you believe you have to do to provide. It’s dangerous to consider what you actually want because the likelihood of having it feels so slim that you just keep doing “the thing you need to do” to survive and go through life either in some form of conflict and struggle or in an apathetic, lethargic malaise, fueled by sugar, coffee, marijuana and wine. Or both and all of it.

So what keeps people stuck in survival mode and unable to move beyond the paradigm of conflict/struggle and apathy/lethargy into a paradigm of ease, grace and abundance?

Many things, without question, but one that I’ve seen again and again and again, is what I refer to as “money dysmorphia”, which I define as the distortion that appears around money when you don’t know what you need.

When you don’t know how much you need, it really doesn’t matter how much you have because you’ll still be in survival mode, trying to get as much as you can, well after you have more than enough.

Why? Is it because you are greedy? No.

People who experience money dysmorphia (most people!) simply have a blind spot. You look in your bank account, at your retirement, at your savings and say “I don’t have enough” and I can promise you this, when Money Dysmorphia is running the show, it’s never enough. You could work yourself to death chasing that financial freedom and it will always be just out of reach.

But when that blind spot is illuminated by seeing what you actually need to survive, your mind will relax, stop spinning and sabotaging you and allow you to know what you really want.

Knowing what you want is the key to it all.

I’d venture to say that there has never been a time in your life where you truly knew what you wanted, acknowledged what you wanted, and did not find a way to create it in your life or watch it magically show up.

Know What You Need: the next step on the path to your freed

It’s a Universal Law and when it is honored, it is affirmed everywhere you look. In contrast, when it is not honored, you can oh so easily see the exact opposite — not enough of anything and no way out.

If that’s where you are now, begin to step into the awareness of what you actually need to have the life you want. Then, if you discover you are already there, relax, revel, slow down and celebrate.  And, if you discover you are not, create a plan to meet your needs. Stop undercharging or giving away your services for free, and ask for what you really need in exchange for what you have to give.

Heal your money dysmorphia once and for all by getting into right relationship with time, money and how you get paid. And before you waste any more time trying to figure out what you want, make sure you know that you’ve got what you need.

I guess my main question is; what path are you on now and where do you want to go next?

Here is to your liberated life, with your heart and eyes wide open.


All my love,



PS — We are launching a Live Version of Money Map, maybe you've heard about this in my Love Letter. If not, be sure to check out our Money Map Program page for more information, and sign up for more information on this launch 🙂

A Surprising Outcome…

I’m writing this Love Letter on Saturday night, as we make our way from Boulder to LA for the Thanksgiving holiday.

e and my ex-husband after hiking Zion
Me and my ex-husband after hiking Zion

Me and my ex-husband after hiking ZionKaia is driving. Her dad in the passenger seat guiding her (she has her permit and this is perfect nighttime driving/highway practice), her boyfriend and her brother in the middle row.  I’m cozily packed into the way back snuggled in with our pup, Duchess, and writing to you.

We spent the day hiking Angel’s Landing at Zion National Park. Well, me and my ex did (their dad).

The kids didn’t want to do the hike and despite my wish to control them and force them to go, I spared us all and didn’t. If you want to hear more about my thinking on this, watch this video I made from the top of Angel’s Landing (and even if you don’t care about the topic, you may want to watch the video just to see the view.)  And here’s where you can see an album of pics from the trip, a video of me hiking up the trail, down the trail and you can check out the newest in hiking fashion. 😉

Speaking of parenting, controlling kids and all that, I’ve started writing about parenting. You can read my series on How to Raise Responsible Kids here. Soon, I’ll post articles there about How to Save Big Money on Your Taxes This Year. Please do me a favor and share them, if you like them.

I’ve been creating a LOT of content and I’m so excited to start to get to share it with you. It feels like it’s been building and building and wants to explode. So much is coming.  If you have not yet taken our survey so we know which content you most need fastest, please do that here.

What I am getting so far from the responses that have come in is that the vast majority of you are having the most trouble with making decisions, choosing among options, and focusing. I didn’t expect this — I thought for sure it would be lack of time or money (perceived or actual) and while those are common issues, I’m seeing that the underlying issue may be not knowing how to make decisions.

Whether you are just starting out or reinventing yourself, desiring to make the leap into your own business or have made the leap and now need to figure out the money or time piece to create a life that actually works, I am seeing a universal theme — around not knowing how to decide, choose and/or focus. Really, they are all the same thing.

If that’s true for you, would you send me an e-mail ( and let me know? I’m super curious if that’s generally accurate across the board. If it’s not true for you, hit reply and let me know that too.

Thank you. I really appreciate it when you not only read these love letters, but take the time to reply. I read everything you send and respond to as much as I can while also doing my work, raising my kids and living my life. 🙂

And on that note, I’m going to get back to my family and see if I can get them off their phones (the kids have been playing SimCity on their phones with each other, as we drive and I work — what a cool time we live in — maybe one day soon we won’t even need a driver) and playing some kind of a non-device game in our last couple of hours of driving tonight.

Love beyond the beyond,



PS — if you have not yet taken our survey, please do so here. Thanks!