Archives for April 2016

I need the masculine to support me…it’s absolutely terrifying.

I need the masculine to support me…it’s absolutely terrifying.

I need the masculine to support me and it's absolutely terrifying.

I was raised to never depend on a man.

From that place, I built million dollar businesses, and created a reality of not needing anything.

But, I kept getting stuck in the same place again and again – earning a lot of money, taking care of a lot of people with that money, and working a LOT.

Honestly, too much for me to be able to feel my feminine heart, most of the time.

I first confronted this reality by letting go of everything and moving to a farm for a year back in 2011.

One of the things I was shocked to discover when I did was that my ex-husband (my kids' dad) showed up for me in ways I had no idea he could or would.

He showed up and supported me big time.

I see now that he never could show up for me before that because I had never made space for him to do so.

I always had it handled. I didn't need anything. I had it. So, he became the needy one. And I was always in the role of giving.

It wasn't until I dropped everything I had created and allowed myself to become vulnerable that he was able to step in and show up for me in a new way.

This morning, as I spoke to Dane Maxwell about the work he will be doing with women around connecting to their money and my work on this same topic, we got to the part of my process that is integral to bringing in what you need — being able to ask for it.

And he asked me to ask him for what I need.

At first I stumbled, I hemmed and I hawed, then I said a bunch of things that were a mask for the real thing.

He told me he felt disconnected, couldn't really feel me and asked me to try again.

I became aware of the thing I hadn't been saying. It was stuck in my throat. I couldn't say it. It was way too vulnerable.

But then, I did. And as I croaked out what I needed, of course the phone disconnected right at that moment. Oh Universe, you are so funny.

When I called Dane back, I told him what felt nearly impossible to say.

“I need the masculine to support me.”

Oh Goddess, that's terrifying. My mom told me never to depend on a man. She didn't just tell me, she showed me what a bad idea that would be.

I've seen it again oh so recently as a man close to me has used power and money to his advantage and to the detriment of those who have surrendered to his care. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

In the face of that reality, how can I need the masculine to support me?

How can I ask for that vulnerably?

How can I remain in my power while I receive that support and not crumble under the generations of oppression and control that have made it not safe for me to need anything from the masculine?

I don't have the answers quite yet, but I promise to share them with you as they come and as I open up to a new relationship with receiving support from the powerful men in my life.

Dane thank you for hearing my request and receiving it with such love and care. I'll let you share your experience of what arose when you heard what I needed.

My question for you is how the feminine heart can ask for what she needs safely and know she is being vulnerable with a man of integrity who will not use that vulnerability to his own benefit and take from her in a way that leaves her worse off.

THANK YOU for being in this exploration with me. I see where it impacts every area of my life and is the next stage of my personal learning, evolution and growth.

Love beyond the beyond,


Tax week here in the US – Are You Ready?

Taxes are due here in the US this Friday.

Are you prepared? Scrambling? Breathing easy knowing it’s all been handled? Got your refund already in hand?

If you have not already sent me a note ( to let me know where you are on the tax spectrum, do so now. I’ll send you back some guidance specific to your situation, when you do.

If you have not received all my tax time messages, you can get caught up on the whole series here:

And, be sure to watch your inbox starting Wednesday. I’ve got a BIG tax time gift coming for you and you are going to want to receive it early because there’s a limited number available, so check your email early on Wednesday and look for a message from me that says:

Tax Time Gift For YOU. This Wednesday.

With love beyond the beyond,

PS — if you have not already, send me a note ( and let me know where you are on the tax time spectrum. Got a big refund or expecting one? If so, how will you use it? Facing a big payment? Or, are you ignoring it altogether?

How I turned a terrifying tax audit into a million dollar business

Welcome back to my special tax time series to help you see how you can bring awareness to your patterns around taxes and use that awareness to uplevel your life and income.

In my first message I shared three tax time tips to help you immediately whether you are getting a refund, have a big payment due or ignoring taxes altogether.

In my second message, I shared my $100,000 tax mistake and how it can help you.

Today, I want to share how a terrifying tax audit got leveraged into my 2nd million dollar business. This strategy is going to help you understand that every conflict, challenge or struggle is actually a huge opportunity or gift for you, if you use the practice I share here.

How I turned a terrifying tax audit into a million dollar business
Desk basket full of bills

The year was 2007. I had just made it through my divorce, which had started in 2005 and wrapped up in 2006. During the divorce, my husband had made us hire a forensic accountant because he was a stay at home dad and was in the dark about the finances. After reviewing my books, the accountant looked at me and said “wow, Alexis, your books are seriously messed up.”

I was embarrassed, but I really didn't know what I was doing when it came to the financial side of my business, so I just looked at him, nodded and went back to what I did know how to do (and at the time felt way more important, especially now that I'd be paying my husband child support and alimony) which was to focus on earning more money.

As you read in my last message, I really didn't heed the warning. I just kept focusing on where I was strong and brought in more clients.

And I kept ignoring it until I went to my mailbox one day in 2007 and saw a thick envelope from the IRS. My belly knotted up and my heart sunk. I had a feeling I knew what it was.

terrifying tax audit into a million dollar businessI was right. It was a letter telling me the IRS was auditing my books from 2005, the year that forensic accountant had looked at me and said “your books are really messed up.”

I wanted to die right then and there.

How would I make it through? Here I was a single mom now, running a million dollar law practice AND I had just started a second business, training lawyers on my methods for engaging clients and serving families with young children.

I broke down in tears and the tears didn't stop for two days.

There was no way I could face this. I was beating myself up constantly over those two days. “Alexis, how could you be so dumb? What are you going to do now? What's wrong with you?” were the words I heard over and over.

Until suddenly, I got a clear message from the Universe that this was actually a huge opportunity to wake up and shift. And here’s what it said:

“Stop focusing on what you did wrong and what you don’t want. You are being audited. That’s what’s happening. It’s okay. This is an opportunity to practice focusing on what you do want. So, do this now:

  1. Focus only on what is within your control.
  2. Use this as an opportunity to learn, grow and evolve by finding a great bookkeeper and accountant to handle everything that doesn’t require you.
  3. Be willing to invest in getting this all handled so you can free up your time, energy and attention to focus on what’s next.
  4. Tell your new bookkeeping/accounting team to only talk with you about the audit when there is something you can take action on or when there is something you must do.
  5. Every time your mind wants to focus on the audit, consciously shift your attention into something you can do right now to build your business that is within your control.”

So, that’s what I did.

And each time I found myself thinking about the audit, I took one action to build my new business.

By mid-2008, I had cleared the tax audit with no additional taxes due + I had built my 2nd million dollar business using all of the energy that I would have otherwise put into my tax audit if I had let it take over my life, as it easily could have.

Yes, hiring a great team to take care of the audit cost me quite a bit of money, but I earned way more than it cost me and I created a revenue stream and path to service that has served me ever since.

So where are you wasting your energy right now on something that is not in service to creating more in the world?

Where are you trying to control the uncontrollable, or beating yourself up or punishing yourself for something you did wrong, rather than learning, growing and evolving through it?

Where can you free up your time, energy or attention by investing money instead and refocusing your attention on something far more valuable?


If you need help answering these questions, or making better decisions this year to lead to a more easeful tax time next year, we’ve got some special tax time gifts for you that you are going to love.

With so much love,

PS — I’d love it if you sent me a note at and let me know what you have learned from this tax time series so far and what questions you are left with that I can support you with.

How my $100,000 tax bill helps you

The year was 2006 and I had hit a $1,000,000 in revenue for the first time. As you can imagine, I was thrilled to have reached that magic business number that so many strive for, but part of me was terrified because I knew that I had done it with a broken business foundation and at some point that would catch up with me.

You see, I hit a million in revenue by focusing all my energy on sales and marketing.

Even though I was a lawyer, I didn't have my legal, insurance, financial and tax systems lined up. And, truth be told, I didn't even really know what I needed to have in place.

How my $100,000 tax bill helps you

If you'd like, watch a video where I share each of the $1,000,000 worth of mistakes that made up my broken business foundation and how I fixed them one by one, you can check it out here.

I knew I would be facing a big tax bill in April of 2007, but I didn't think much about it as I was so focused on the sales and marketing side of my business and, frankly, I didn't really know there was anything I could do about it.

Each month, my bookkeeper would put reports on my chair and I would glance at them, but I didn't really know what I was looking at or what I was looking for, so I just tossed them into the stack of papers on my desk to look at later. Of course, later never came.

The big, bad news came a few months later when my CPA contacted me and told me that I had $105,000 due to the IRS that year. $105,000 that I didn't have.

I had to take out a loan to pay my taxes. Back in 2007, taking out a loan was fairly simple as the banks were lending and I had a great credit score, so I did it, but it hurt.

And, today, getting a loan isn't quite so easy. (If you have a big tax bill you can't pay this year and you cannot get a loan to pay it, look into payment plans with the IRS — they'll loan you the money. Or consider whether you may need to work with someone to negotiate down your tax debt. Via our Eyes Wide Open membership, we have trusted providers who can do this for you.)

The worst part was that once I made the commitment to get my legal, insurance, financial and tax systems handled and learn what I didn't know about how to build a solid foundation beneath my business, I discovered I could have decreased my tax bill by at least $50,000, if I had planned in advance.

That would have been an additional $50,000 in my pocket, which I could have used for my kids' private school tuition, a trip to Bali with the family, or re-invested back into the business.

But, back then, I didn't even know how to ask my accountant the right questions. And I knew my bookkeeper wasn't handling things the right way, but I didn't know what handling things the right way even meant. So, I paid big time. (We'll be offering a training for our members later this year on how to work with your bookkeeper the eyes wide open way, watch for it.)

For those of you who are facing a big tax payment this April, first of all congratulations. I say congratulations because it means you have figured out how to bring in the money. That's great news and before you go beating yourself up for overpaying the IRS, congratulate yourself for knowing that you've got one of the hardest parts of business down — bringing in the cash flow.

Now, commit to doing things differently next year. If you want to keep bringing in the big money, it's time to learn how to create the foundation to hold it all, otherwise, you'll be likely to lose it just like I did and have to start over from scratch. Stay tuned here for some resources we'll be sharing with you next week to support you.

Or start here and watch my video on the $1,000,000 worth of mistakes I made while building my businesses the first go round.

If you are ignoring your taxes or getting a refund this year (because you are still a W-2 employee), it's time to make a shift and start focusing on how you can step up your personal responsibility for how you earn your income and what you do with the money, when you do.

Ignorance is not bliss. You can step into personal sovereignty and full control over your financial future by implementing the entrepreneurial principles we teach here at Eyes Wide Open (even if you do work for someone else).

I want that for you. And I know you can have it, if you choose to build your life and income awake, aware and on your own terms — with your eyes wide open.

For years, I built my life and business with my eyes squeezed shut, ignoring so much of what I knew was an issue because I couldn't face it. I didn't know how to face it. Simply, I was scared.

That's why I've created Eyes Wide Open … to support you in learning, growing and evolving by facing the scariest parts of life and business with open eyes and an open heart. It's all here for you.

With love beyond the beyond,


PS — soon I'll share with you what happened when I had a big tax audit in 2007 and how I handled it in such a way that I ended up building my second million dollar business as a result. Yep, I turned a terrifying tax audit into a million dollar business. If you want to hear how, make sure to read tomorrow's post.

Tax refund, big payment or ignoring it altogether? My best strategies…

Tax time here in the US is just around the corner and you are either excited to be expecting (or have already received) a refund, stressed about paying or perhaps you are ignoring it altogether.

You can e-mail into to let me know which category you are in and I'll hit you back with some guidance specific to your situation.

My personal tax story is instructive for you, no matter which category you fall into.

I'll be sharing some details over right here, so keep an eye out for my tax time insights.  Most importantly, I'll be sharing the story of how I ended up with an unexpected $100,000 tax bill and how I handled it. Plus, what I did after I was audited that built me a $1,000,000+ business. Seriously, this is huge and applies in many areas of your life.

Today though, I want to share some tax time tips that could help you immediately:


  1. Tax time can be a wake up call to approach your finances with eyes wide open: see it that way and grow your income in alignment with your life.

Looking at the numbers of my life and business was terrifying for years. Rather than paying attention (which felt either obsessive or overwhelming), I decided I would just make more money so I didn't have to really pay attention.  

That's one strategy I see a lot of entrepreneurs who are scared of their numbers using and while it can work for a while, it will ultimately backfire on you and result in extremely costly mistakes, as it did for me.

The other option I see people using is to just ignore tax time altogether by making so little that filing taxes isn't necessary.

Either of these options is not in alignment with the truth of who you are. Making so little that filing taxes isn't necessary or making so much that you think you can just pay in advance for your mistakes are both avoidance strategies that take you away from the truth.

Face your taxes with eyes wide open, with regular monthly meetings with your bookkeeper (or yourself if you don't have a bookkeeper yet), reconcile your books, categorize your expenses properly each month, and review your profit and loss — those are recipes for success.

If you don't know how to do these things, hit reply and let us know. If there's enough interest we'll create a training.

There was a time I didn't know how to do these things, so I just avoided it.  

Today, I have clean and clear systems to manage my financials that allow me to look clearly, use my numbers to tell the story of my business so I can make wise decisions and I can relax knowing I'm earning what I need, when I need it, on demand and there's no tax time scrambling anymore.


  1. Use your refund wisely to invest in resources that create more in the world.

The other day, I supported one of my on-site team members to get his taxes done. He was going to go to H&R Block and they told him it would cost him $100 to do his taxes plus he would owe $300+ (because he is a 1099 independent contractor with us and that means he has to pay all of the taxes himself on his income).

I used Turbo Tax and deducted some of his expenses for him. We ended up getting him a $300+ refund from the taxes he paid via his W-2 job.

So I asked him, how are you going to use this money?

He told me he was going to buy parts for his car so he could make it even more tricked out.

A part of me cried inside. That's consumerism at it's finest.

Investing in tricking out his car isn't going to create more of anything in his life or the world.

Instead, he could be using the money to invest in gaining a new skill that he will be able to use in service to creating more in the world.

I invite you right now to consider where you might be using your resources to consume more rather than to create more and what you can do to shift that with your very next investment, especially your tax time refund, if you are getting one.


  1. Don't beat yourself up, rather commit to make changes and learn, grow and evolve.

Remember, we learn by making mistakes. Every challenge (including the challenge of managing the financials of your life with your eyes wide open) is your greatest opportunity to be more of who you really are. And you get to choose that in each moment.

Don't beat yourself up. Trust that you are being shown exactly what you need to learn next. Our purpose here at Eyes Wide Open is to lovingly support you to see what you may have been missing up until now.

I hope these tax time tips have showed you how you can use even the most practical of life experiences to expand your consciousness and live your life awake, aware and on your terms.

With eyes and heart wide open,



PS — We started our Enough Course yesterday, April 6th. Everyone who attended had huge ah-ha's and breakthroughs on their own awareness of what they have and what they actually need to have the life they really want. It's not too late to join us for the rest of the sessions. If you would like to consider whether it's right for you, send us a note ( and let us know so we can send you a recording of the first session and you can check it out and see if it's your right next step.